—"So You Think You Can Dance Star, " dancer Travis Wall raised without knowledge of his true origins!
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
By Ima Spoofer
(Related Stories: Review of So You Think You Can Dance LIVE Tour Seattle Premier is below this article, see archives for articles on Seattle Seahawks Android Player Scandal and Gordon Michael Woolvett Wins Blogolicious Lifetime Achievement Nomination.)
Recently, highly unethical and secret DNA tests were performed by Secret Blogolicious Field and Stream Operatives on both men in order to confirm the rumors and recent speculation that there was some sort of genetic link between the two.
The results were positive—identical, in fact.
Sources not-so-close to Mr. Woolvett say that yes, there were times when he was about seventeen or eighteen where he claims that he had little recall of his activities. So it is possible, say experts, that Mr. Woolvett's DNA was stolen while he had been incapacitated in some way in order to take samples or perhaps when he simply had too much to drink at a party. It does not seem likely that the writer/actor/director had any knowledge of the DNA theft, nor is complicit in the actual experimentation and creation of the clone.
As for the alleged clone in question, eighteen year old jazz/lyrical/contemporary dancer, Travis Wall was the runner-up in the FOX summer hit, So You Think You Can Dance and is currently touring with the national LIVE show which sold out just thirty minutes after tickets went online. (Mr. Wall turns nineteen on September 16, 2006.)
The Wall family aggressively denies that Travis is a clone of the famous actor and that he came into the world in the traditional manner—they cite hospital records as proof. If any tampering were involved, say experts, it is possible that secret government agents from
The height, build and eerily matching appearances of both men could simply be coincidence, say sources. After all, look how many supposed clones of Pamela Anderson are running around—even the ones without extensive silicon augmenting?
Experts say that at first, considering the amazing strength, flexibility and jumping ability of Travis Wall, they wondered if perhaps the young man was not a clone but an android. This wouldn't be the first time that androids were discovered masquerading as athletes (see earlier article on the Seattle Seahawks Android Players Expose on this blog.) However, DNA tests proved otherwise. They also state that talent often emerges differently based on environment, so the original being a gifted actor doesn't negate the likelihood of a clone becoming a gifted dancer.
How many clones there are running around of the Canadian actor is currently unknown, nor why Mr. Woolvett in particular was singled out. It is possible, say sources, that this is only the beginning of a new Canadian Cultural Offensive against the
Why you may ask? Perhaps, say experts, they are trying to improve the current state of American television. After all, experts point to all the American clones of not only actors but television shows that are currently running on U.S. and World televisions—but generally not with good result. This could simply be a counterplot to the current studio cloning projects.
Let's hope so.
This is a satirical spoof, meaning, don't take it seriously.
CG Anderson is a 10 year new media provocateur involved in technology, science and the online world. Also a writer, blogger and novelist. CG's comments are personal and opinionated and solely the responsibility of the author, so there. Don't like the opinions, disagree, agree, don't know? Great, make a comment—clean ones will be allowed, netiquette-challenged ones will be ignored!
Blog site: http://ahablogolicious.blogspot.com/
URL: http://home.myuw.net/cganders/
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