Seattle Seahawks may be androids!

Seattle Seahawks may be androids!

Owner and technocrat Paul Allen denies rumors that he has been substituting robots for real players!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

By R.U. Gettinthis
Seattle, WA. AHA! BLOGOLICIOUS! has just learned of rumors that Paul Allen, co-founder of Microsoft Corporation and owner of the football team, the Seattle Seahawks may have been using androids (aka robots that look human) as players on his team.

Mr. Allen, who founded and owns Vulcan, a diversified company into high tech, film as well as genetic and brain research, denies that he has been building specialized football bots and placing them, unknown to the human players, on his football team in order to improve the team's record. He further denies that he replaced the coach of the team with an AI Supercomputer linked to an android replica last year.

But sources say that Mr. Allen had been in secret negotiations with the Intelligent Robotics Laboratory, part of the Graduate School of Engineering, Department of Adaptive Machine Systems at Osaka University in Japan. The lab is one of many on the forefront of realistic android design and behavior.

Mr. Allen's representatives further claim that all pictures taken during a recent press junket have been grossly misinterpreted. They further state that the fact that one player, in a recent interview, who broke down during the interview with smoke clearly coming out of his ears was simply overly tired from a hard day of training. It had been a hot day, said the PR rep for the Seahawks, and the player in question was simply very, very thirsty.

The rep continued to say that just because Mr. Allen's company is named Vulcan—after both the science fiction character from Star Trek, Mr. Spock, and the mythic Roman God who created the weapons of the gods, including the thunderbolts of Jupiter—it does not in any way imply that the company is involved in robotic design…just genetic research.

Last year the Seattle Seahawks played in the Super Bowl. It was the first appearance at the bowl for the team since their inception.

This is a satirical spoof, meaning, don't take it seriously.

CG Anderson is a 10 year market researcher and web strategist involved in technology, science and the online world. Also a writer, blogger and novelist. CG's comments are personal and opinionated and solely the responsibility of the author, so there. Don't like the opinions, disagree, agree, don't know? Great, make a comment—clean ones will be allowed, netiquette-challenged ones will be ignored!
Blog site: http://ahablogolicious.blogspot.com/
URL: http://home.myuw.net/cganders/